“Don’t boast, it’s not the right thing to do.”

These are the words I often heard from my late mother during my childhood whenever she thought I was feeling myself just a little too much. The irony of her instruction was the fact that she, objectively, had a lot that she could boast about without anyone giving her the side-eye. My mother was the first woman to serve as the Director-General of the Ghana Broadcasting Corporation. She was also the first woman chosen to run as a Vice Presidential candidate in Ghana’s political history.

Despite being a woman of many firsts, she was incredibly humble both by nature and by nurture of the collectivist and humility-led Ghanaian cultural context she grew up in. You would never catch her bragging and she taught me accordingly. To this day I feel awkward in the face of praise and uncomfortable when discussing my own achievements.

Does this feel/sound familiar to you?

It’s been an interesting journey so far in my 18+ months of adventures and lessons as a new solopreneur. I am still yet to “arrive,” but looking back, I’ve made significant progress thanks to the community I’ve found and built on LinkedIn. One of the scariest things about joining, and more specifically, contributing to a digital, public conversation, is a fear of the unknown. This “unknown” relates both to peoples’ receptivity and response to what you or I share. This is a valid fear/anxiety that we can all trace back to the butterflies in our collective stomach when we raised our hands to participate in the classroom. On LinkedIn, similar to the classroom setting, everyone is listening, our participation matters, and also counts toward our grade.

Let me ask you a question... why did you join LinkedIn?

Was your goal simply to create a profile just to say that you have one, or were there some higher aspirational purposes for the time and effort you expended? I’ll bet that you had goals of (re)connecting with friends/professionals you already knew, meeting new people to expand your network, and furthering your professional development, including finding new jobs. The challenge is, it’s very hard to achieve any of these goals if you remain a silent observer or passive member in this digital, public, professional square.

I’m no actor, but conducting a job search can certainly feel like an endless cycle of auditions. You do research, memorize lines, & deliver several tailored monologues to countless people in hopes of landing your coveted role. Through all of this, you are doing your best to be your best authentic self when you show up to each interaction. Doing this consistently is hard, but it can be even harder if you are also feeling depressed, anxious, or managing challenging life circumstances, nevermind a global pandemic.

Let’s not forget that while you are job searching, there is no pause button for the other roles you play in your life. You don’t get to temporarily stop being a spouse/partner, parent, caretaker, or friend, just so you can focus on your job search. The regular demands of your time and energy in these roles coupled with the added stress of conducting a job search can be a lot for anyone to handle. Let’s collectively acknowledge that this isn’t easy, and that’s ok. The question is, how can you manage these various roles/responsibilities, demands of your time, energy, & emotions in a way that works best?

For some, the answer might be... therapy.

My 8yo daughter just started 3rd grade and even in virtual scooling, “show & tell” (S&T) is still a thing. It struck me that S&T is the first practice any of us ever get in delivering a presentation to an audience. While there’s no pressure to convince anyone of anything, and there is little at stake except for potential “cool points” based on your item, one thing is universally true -- kids must have a physical item to show or the whole exercise is pointless. Kids must show evidence of the thing they tell their classmates about or they won’t be believed. If we learn this lesson so early on about the need for evidence to back up stories, why as adults do we forget about it when it comes to writing our resumes?

Stop me if you’ve seen any of the language below in a resume -- no judgments if it’s in your own ;-)

• “Proven track record of increasing sales.”

• “Extensive experience delivering projects on time and under budget.”

• “Demonstrated success in program development.”

While these statements don’t sound so bad at first, upon further review, they offer nothing of substance. Though meant to sound impressive and allude to success/accomplishments, in their current form, they are nothing more than claims. Further, since there is no evidence that substantiates them, they’re essentially baseless claims → until proven otherwise.